Sometimes, I’m amazed when I walk through campus with one of my friends and they wave and say, “Hello!” to a dozen people as we pass by. My friends seem to have an easier time meeting new people and getting to know them than I do, and their circle of friends is much larger. I’m pretty bad at talking to strangers; I can’t simply walk up to someone and introduce myself and maintain a conversation afterwards.
I’m introverted. I keep to myself and prefer to work alone. I treasure moments that I have for myself, where I can just sit and breathe and listen to music. I like being alone with my thoughts and letting my mind drift whichever way without other people interrupting. I like being home, cuddled under blankets and watching a movie instead of at a loud party surrounded by people that I don’t know, will probably never know.
But it’s one thing to enjoy your solitude, and another to experience loneliness.
“… I realize that even though I like being alone, I don’t fancy being lonely.”
It’s not uncommon to want time to ourselves, away from others and away from the stresses and obstacles of everyday life. Maybe certain people want more alone time than others, but it’s okay to want to be by yourself. At a certain point, though, I start to crave human contact. I need something to remind me that I am still connected to other people in this world, that there are still people who want to see me. That’s when the loneliness starts to kick in.
And it sucks. It really, really sucks feeling like you don’t even take up space in the universe. It sucks so much that I really believe that no one deserves to feel like this, that if there is something that is truly painful and can really eat away at someone, it’s loneliness.
I don’t have an enormous number of friends, but the few close ones I have are very dear to me and help keep the loneliness at bay. And to anyone else who starts to feel a bit lonely, there are people everywhere who are willing and wanting to make new friends, so don’t lose hope. Don’t ever let the loneliness overwhelm you.
(Wow, this got kind of… really personal. It’s my blog, I post what I want.)
hehe first one to comment! Oh wow I gasped after reading this blog cairah. It is nice of you to share a factor of your life with the rest of the world. Yes the world who is willing and ready to hear whatever you have to say. I do have to agree with you though, it is nice to just sit back and just have some alone time for yourself. If you are constantly busy running around trying to please every one else's lives and not your own then how unfair to yourself? Just some time by yourself can be a perfect break to just get away and just think about you and only you in a non-conceited way.
ReplyDeleteI am not sure that my thoughts for this quote can be summarized in one interjection. If you didn't want the world to know about you then why would you post about the subjects you talked about. If you're so introverted then why tell us anything other than page fillers like the meaning of life. Why have friends if you're not going to be a friend and talk to them as much as they talk to you.
ReplyDeleteI never said that I don't want the world to know about me? The fact that I'm introverted makes me more selective about who I talk to and what I say, but I have the right to talk about myself if I choose to, especially on MY OWN BLOG.
DeleteAnd friendship isn't measured in the amount of conversations you have. It's about dedication and trust and kindness. I have a quote for that! "Silences make the real conversations between friends. Not the saying, but the never needing to say is what counts." - Margaret Lee Runbeck.
I'm sorry, but I'm just wondering if you actually read what I wrote at all.
This is a beautiful post. The quote is quite accurate, and applies to everyone I would think. No one likes to be lonely, yet, as you say, everyone wants a little alone time now and again. Alone time is when you can connect with yourself, but what I have had trouble with my whole life is figuring out at what specific point does the loneliness take over? It seems to creep up on you and consume your thoughts, encumbering you like a heavy weight on a seemingly endless journey.
ReplyDeleteI like your quote and post;it can associate to any and everyone. At times I can be very introverted- not wanting to talk to anyone, sometimes even my close friends- and at other times I can be extremely extroverted to the point I meet everyone in a big room and we're instantly all friends(i may have a chance of being bipolar... just kidding, just mood swings). But sometimes, people just intimidate me. It can be certain people, or people in general, which when it happens...just puts me down and I feel... well... lonely. I still work on this strange phobia to this day(it comes and goes), and hopefully, I'll overcome it for good. Thank you for your insight :)
ReplyDeleteCairah, I love the honest and compelling characteristics of your writing. I too, prefer being to myself at times than surrounded by people. I often feel that being alone allows us to have more time to contemplate. In contrast, being with others can create new experiences and bonds. Taking your post in to consideration, I agree that even though people like being alone, does not mean that they desire to be alone all the time. The quote you chose is general and can allow everyone to be a factor of it. I also enjoyed your post because of your casual and personal writing style. You have once again surprised me with your unique post.
ReplyDeleteWhat you say in your passage probably applies to a very large percentage of people at most schools (including ours). Though it may seem as though almost everybody else is at ease with people, if you look closely that is not the case. It is an accepted assumption that in any usual setting 2% of the people make 90% of the noise and draw 90% of the attention, however those who are most visible unwittingly become the standard of "normal". There are also those who never speak at all unless spoken to, and they are the majority. It just doesn't seem like it due to their unobtrusiveness. In all you did a very good job portraying the mind of those whose mind are least known and understood with a very eloquent and enigmatic tone.
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